You Need A Relationship To Heal, And Here’s Why

What if healing doesn’t happen in isolation, but in the friction and tenderness of a committed relationship? We take a clear-eyed look at why romantic commitment can catalyze growth in ways friendship and mentorship rarely reach, and how that truth fits with a robust, Christ-centered life. Starting in Genesis, we revisit the line “it is not good that man should be alone” and unpack why that’s not a critique of God’s sufficiency, but a gift of human design—formation through another person, modeled after Christ and the church.

We walk through a biopsychosocial-spiritual framework for change: how bonded pairs co-regulate the body, how intimacy surfaces hidden scripts and fears, how shared burdens build resilience, and how scripture, prayer, and community keep desire aligned with truth. You’ll hear a practical roadmap for rupture and repair—misunderstandings, pauses, returns, and reconciliations—that slowly nurture secure attachment and emotional regulation. We also name the cultural fatigue around dating, the temptation to retreat into self-protection, and the courage it takes to be fully known without shutting down under shame.

This conversation is not a sales pitch for marriage as a cure-all, nor does it dismiss singleness as a faithful calling. It’s an invitation to examine whether avoidance, not vocation, is steering your choices—and to see how forgiveness, grace, and redemption take on flesh inside a covenant. If you’ve wondered why vulnerability matters, how to pursue wisely, or where faith meets attachment science, this one will meet you with clarity and compassion.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs hope, and leave a rating or review so more listeners can find these conversations. Have thoughts or questions? Email slconnect08@gmail.com or DM us on Instagram at godattachmenthealing.

Chapters

• 0:00 Season Five And Core Thesis
• 1:46 Challenging Self-Sufficiency Culture
• 5:02 Genesis And The Design For Relationship
• 10:45 The Church, Dating Fatigue, And Fear
• 14:18 Biopsychosocial-Spiritual Lens For Healing
• 18:20 Why Romance Reveals What Friends Don’t
• 22:10 Rupture And Repair Build Secure Attachment
• 27:15 Scripture, Prayer, Community In Practice
• 31:20 Mirrors, Feedback, And Being Fully Known
• 35:05 Vulnerability Without Judgment
• 38:20 Accountability, Support, And Shared Burdens
• 41:30 Forgiveness, Grace, And Redemption

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:05

Alright everyone, welcome back to the God Attachment Healing Podcast. We are moving into this new season, season five. And last week, as you all know, we did episode 100, which is a huge accomplishment. And now I'm just looking forward to continuing to talk about God attachment and how that applies to our relationships and how it applies to how we understand ourselves, the church, and how we understand obviously our relationship with God. So I'm looking forward to this topic. Uh, you know, there is a message in the culture that is highly individualized, that is highly focused on the self. And today I'm gonna try to challenge that belief by starting off with a topic title, which is You Need a Relationship to Heal. So hopefully I can elaborate on this topic as well as I want to, and we're gonna start off pretty strong. I'm excited to see where this goes. And again, I'm focusing a lot on those three pieces of our identity, which is our relationship to self, relationship to others, and our relationship to Jesus. And I hope the Jays can join the journey. Again, this is gonna continue to go strong, and I'm looking forward to all the topics that I have planned for the next couple of weeks. Number of interviews, which I'm sure you will be interested in. Have some great guests who will be coming on the show. And yeah, as always, just trying to provide you with as much value as I can through this podcast, and uh hopefully it's been a blessing to you. So, yeah, well, let's go ahead and start with the topic. I mean, the the topic really communicates something that may be a contradiction to what you've been taught or what you've heard in the culture, that you need a relationship to heal. Now, when we think about this topic, you will often hear that when I say a relationship to heal, you're probably going to think of a romantic relationship. And you would be correct in assuming that. And I share that because if you start to think about the idea of having a relationship to heal, like we emphasize family, we emphasize friendship, we emphasize mentorship, meeting with leaders, uh, having your girls, your guys, you know, people that you spend time with, home groups, whatever the case is, right? All of these things, we say, oh, this brings healing, this brings healing, we need this, we need community, we need to be there for one another, right? And that's true, right? I mean, the Bible talks about that a lot. I mean, Paul addresses it addresses it a lot in the New Testament about needing to be with one another, to bear one another's burdens, right? To to share truth with one another. And we have all of these encouragements to be with one another, but for some reason, I mean, I know why, and I'm going to explain that in a little bit. We have also believed, or we have included in that belief system that we don't need romantic relationships. And by that I mean whether it be dating, engagement, marriage, we've come to believe that we're better off on our own and that we can actually that we can grow on our own without a romantic relationship. And I really started to think about that concept a lot because that is not what we find in in scripture. Now, in having conversations with friends about singlehood and what does that look like, and who do who should I look for, and and what qualities should this person have? Like all of these things, right? We talk about it all of the time, and yet we try to convince ourselves that we don't need that relationship to be happy. On the other hand, is that if you are seeking a relationship to be happy, we almost demonize that idea or that feeling or that thought. And we kind of shame each other into thinking that, well, shouldn't Jesus be enough? Like if you are really centered in your relationship with Christ, then you wouldn't really desire these things as strongly as you are. And obviously, I don't find that to be true, a true statement. And I'm gonna challenge that belief because um we do need that romantic relationship. Again, whether it be dating, engagement, marriage, whatever stage you're in right now, um, as a single person, right? I think that the culture has tricked us into thinking that we're better off on our own than being in a relationship. And the way that I've understood that message is that it's easier to not be in a romantic relationship than it is to be one. But the reason why it's easier is because you're not having to face yourself, you're not having to face the maybe areas of weakness in your life, um, some deficiencies, some areas of growth, and it just makes it easier to avoid romantic relationships because romantic relationships don't bring out the same thing that friendships, relationship with your parents, uh mentorships, church leaders, uh other social settings would bring out, right? Romantic relationships relationships are really going to bring out a different part of us because we're invested in it differently, right? We're seeking a companion for life. You're seeking someone who you can share your life with, someone who you can grow in Christ together. And when you choose that person, really everything else is a supplement to that relationship, right? So and we find this in in Genesis, right? Which is, and obviously it's a popular verse that you all know, but I've asked myself that question is well, if that if God, if Jesus is all we need, then why did he find it necessary to bring us a spouse? Why did he find that necessary to provide Adam with a wife? And obviously the obvious answer to that is to populate the world and to make way, obviously, because he knows the future plan, to make way for the coming of Christ to save humanity, right? To save us from ourselves, to save our souls from our sinful nature so that we can be restored in relationship with him and be able to live with him for eternity, right? So he obviously knew the big plan behind everything, but he has also set up the structure for what life would look like on this earth as we seek him and as we build this relationship with him. And in Genesis, that's what we find, right? He creates the world, he creates night and day, uh, the animals and makes man, and it's him and Adam in the garden together enjoying their fellowship, right? And if we look at uh Genesis and we look at chapter two, verse 15, it says, Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. Okay, so he gives him a job, right? And the Lord commanded the man, saying, You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it, you shall surely die. Right? So he gives them these instructions, kind of sets up the stage. Here's where you're gonna live. We're gonna enjoy this together, go on and enjoy the garden, right? But avoid that tree of the knowledge of good and evil, because you will surely die. So not just a physical death, but also a spiritual death as well. But we all turn our attention now to Genesis 2, verse 18, where it says, Then the Lord God said, It is not good for man to be alone, or that man should be alone, as it says in the ESV version. So we look at that and we say, Okay, so this is the first time in scripture that we're reading up until this point that God says that something is not good. Everything else was good, right? It was good that he created man, good that he created uh the earth, good everything was good, and God saw that it was good. But this is the first time in scripture that we see that it is not good, specifically that Adam was alone, right? So we look at that and we say, okay, so why did God say that it's not good for man to be alone? Was he not enough? Right? There could be a question that could come up. It has nothing to do with God not being enough. Obviously, he is, and he was that for Adam, but he also looks out for things that can enhance our lives as well, right? Part of God's goodness is to give to us or to provide for us what we need. And he found that necessary for man to need a woman, to need a spouse, right? So the very first relationship that's established outside of our relationship with God was this marriage commitment, Adam and Eve, romantic relationship, right? So he creates this, and obviously we know the story from there on is that in chapter three, we then see the fall of man. They, the first emotion that they experienced was shame. They go and hide themselves. God seeks for them, you know, uh they blame each other, and eventually God kind of puts these curses on them and he kicks them out of the garden, right? And then we see all through up until Genesis six the continuous fall of man, and now how, and then how God saved uh mankind through Noah and so on, right? So we hear the story, moves forward all up until Christ's birth, um, until Jesus' birth, and then obviously we know he dies for our sins, raises again on the third day, and now lives in the right on the right hand of God the Father. And now we wait for him, right? We wait for his coming. And all of this again points to the fact that the very first relationship that God established on earth was this romantic relationship, this marriage between man and woman, right? In the New Testament, we see Paul continuously tell us to, you know, he gives us the one another's, right? And I think today in the church, what we've done is that we've emphasized that so much, but interestingly enough, we've avoided or or demonized or uh put in a negative light the relationship, the romantic relationship. And I know where that stems from, right? If we look at the culture, even in Christian culture, that dating today has turned into something that is not a pleasant experience. So it would make sense why we don't really want to pay attention to that as much, or to become jaded and understand that people are not just are not wanting the same things. But I think it's it's done quite a it's had quite a negative effect on the culture and even on our faith. Because again, the the marriage relationship was to demonstrate to us and to illustrate to us the relationship between Christ and the church, right? So the model that we were supposed to look at and that we're supposed to seek out to help us understand that relationship between Christ and the church better is the one that we have continually put to the side. And we've said, you know, no longer is it good. I'm just gonna do my own thing. If the Lord brings someone great, if he doesn't, that's also great too. And I I think that's the wrong perspective. Um, and I, you know, I can speak for both the men and the women in regards to what their role is in this whole process or how we can change the conversation around this topic, but we have created a culture now where both men and women are scared to enter romantic relationships because it it's going to mean that we're gonna have to be vulnerable and we're going to have to be fully known by someone else. And we don't really experience that in friendships, relationship with parents, siblings in the church, mentorship. Like we don't, it's not the same thing, it's very different, right? Obviously, all of those are shared in scripture about, you know, we see Timothy being discipled by Paul. Uh, we so it's a mentorship piece. Uh, again, the relationship of brothers and sisters within the church, right? This family unit. But the relationship between man and woman in a romantic setting in a marriage is very different than those other relationships. So the question becomes, well, why should we then seek that out? I mean, are we as Christians now saying that we don't want to pursue relationships anymore, romantic relationships? And you know, there's two sides to this. On one side, you have people who are completely jaded, want nothing to do with seeking out a relationship. And then on the other hand, you have people who are constantly wanting to fill that void and wanting to see what it what it could be and feeling disappointed and frustrated because they're not finding what they're looking for, right? So, how do we find that balance? How do we know how do we attach ourselves in a healthy way to other people? And I think the the significant factor here is the fear, the fear of being rejected, the fear of not being wanted, even the fear of being fully known, right? All of these fears are pushing us away from the one relationship that teaches us that can model for us what the relationship between Christ and the church should be. So my argument is that you do need to be in relationship with others because that is the only way that you'll be able to heal. Now, again, if you were taking a spiritual approach, right? I'm taking a biopsychosocial, spiritual approach to this. And what I'm saying by that is that all of these areas of our lives need healing, right? So the biological, it's your body, take care of your body, the psychological, how you think, right? We can use God's word to help us understand and create our worldview about the world around us. Um, there's the emotional, understanding how we feel about certain things, about certain people, um, how we feel about ourselves, right? And then there's the spiritual and how we understand our relationship with God. So all of these things play a huge role in in our growth as human beings, but more importantly, in our relationship with God. You know, interestingly, in the culture, Christians, you'll you'll hear them say, well, you don't need a romance relationship to be happy, right? Which then kind of begs the question, well, why do we need family? Why do we need friendships? Why do we need mentorships? Do we need any of these at all? Right. So we start to highlight all these other relationships where, yes, there's depth, right? I can assume that you have a healthy relationship with your family, um, that you have a best friend that you share a lot with, uh, maybe even that you have a mentor that you allow to pour into your life, right? So we emphasize all these other areas, but even within those, I don't think they create the same type of vulnerability and openness that a romantic relationship brings to the table. Um and that can be scary, right? And maybe that's why we emphasize the other one so much, because we don't have to share everything else so deeply. And by the way, even in these relationships, friendships, family, uh, mentorships, we don't really share everything. The people don't really live with us. Family might, right? You if you still live with your parents or you live with your siblings, you live with you know, any family member, obviously they're gonna know you. But you know, we've done a pretty good job, or we can do a pretty good job of kind of keeping certain things to ourselves. Now, you can do that in a relationship too, but what I'm saying is that romantic relationships, the whole point of it is to be vulnerable with the other person. They know you. There's this this ah, there's this desire to know someone fully and to be fully known and to be accepted for that. And we all want that, right? So that's why we have this desire to want to establish these types of relationships. So what happens when we don't have these relationships, or we when we get jaded from seeking out these relationships, we miss out on understanding God in a light that He intended to show us, which is through this romantic relationship. And and again, when I say romantic relationship, I'm talking about dating, engagement, leading into marriage, right? Uh people who are wanting marriage because marriage is what is reflecting that relationship between Christ and the church, right? And it gives us a better understanding of wow, if Christ treated the church that way, how much better does he treat me as his son, as his daughter, right? And you start to understand that relationship a lot differently, right? So um this then leads us into wanting to understand, okay, so why do we need these relationships? What is so different about it that I can't receive in friendships, family, and mentorship? So here's my my my points, the points that I want to make, excuse me, the points that I want to make regarding the need to have romantic relationships. It's it's one of those things where I think it fights against not just uh the culture itself, but also even Christian culture or church culture, um, where the emphasis has mostly been made on, you know, you need to seek the Lord out with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul. And I am emphasizing that. So I don't want to confuse you. I don't want to say that that's not what you should be doing. Yes, we need to be following God with all our minds, all our hearts, all our souls, and allow ourselves to grow into becoming more like Christ. But within that, the Lord also uses people to help us become more like Him, right? That's the whole point of the church. That's the whole point of marriage. That's the whole point in friendships, right? As you continue to know each other deeper and deeper, there is this element of exposing different areas of your life that still need to be refined, right? And because I think friendships and family and mentorships don't bring out everything, or because they're not around us all of the time, I think it's limited in its impact to continue to sharpen and grow us. But when you enter into a marriage relationship, it really does expose a lot of who you are and really does do a different type of sharpening in your life, right? Now, this is not to say that those who are single cannot continue to be sharpened. What I'm saying is that there are different relationships that bring out different parts of you and refine also different parts of you. So, what are some of the things that you can gain from seeking or being in a romantic dating, engagement, marriage, relationship? Well, one of them is does it it can actually foster secure attachment and emotional regulation? Okay, so using attachment language, as we talk about on this show, is that part of growing in a relationship is having what we call the rupture repair process, right? This happens in all of our relationships. And the ones that are most consistent with a positive repairing of the relationship, if you have more evidences of that, you develop that relationship into a secure relationship. And you also become secure when you have a lot of um uh rupture repairs. Not that you have a lot of ruptures about the same things, just that you have evidences of, hey, there's something that went wrong here and we were able to repair it. There was something that went wrong during this stage of life and we were able to repair it, right? And sometimes it takes a couple of attempts to finally work through something because we're human and we're sinful and we have things that we're still working through, right? So some take a little bit longer than others. But what they do is that they allow you to develop this emotional regulation that initially you're dysregulated when there's conflict between you and this person that you love, you and this person that you care about. And then there's a moment of silence or distance or separation where you're not wanting to be around each other, right? And then it's what do we do? What should I do now? Now, if it's a friend, you could leave and maybe not talk to them for a couple of days. If it's a mentor, you can go away not saying anything and internally feel this slow resentment towards them because they said something that you didn't like. With your parents, kind of the same thing. With a sibling, we're most open with them and they can say what they want, and I don't have to engage with them again, right? But we still have this idea of you know, family's important, so I need to go interact with them. But we kind of, you know, put this issue on the side for the sake of family and so on, right? So we don't really deal with those issues in those different relationships. But when it's a marriage relationship, a dating relationship, an engagement relationship, like we have to bring those things out to develop the level of intimacy that we're looking for. So when there's a rupture in the relationship, we're trying to find ways to repair it, right? And healthy repairing. Can we talk about this in a calm manner? Can we discuss these issues? How do we want to, what do we want to say? Can I be clear? And how is the other person going to respond? I don't know, right? So all of those things are questions that you may have in your mind. But in order to heal, right, and I do believe that God uses people to heal, right? There's the saying uh that goes both ways. One is hurt people, hurt people. And then on the other hand, you also have healed people, heal people. And we're healed, yes, through our relationship with God. God heals our hearts, the deepest pains in our hearts that no one else is able to understand. God heals those parts through that continuous relationship that we have with Him. I found that in my own life through scripture, through prayer, and through community. And you hear me talk about that all of the time, right? Scripture, prayer, community. Scripture, because it is God's word to us, right? It's not a feeling, you know, where you just kind of, oh, you know, I think God told me this, and uh, and you it's completely anti-biblical what you're what you're supposed to do, you know, people who start to use the Bible by saying that, oh, you know, God gave me this word over here, and it's not found anywhere in scripture, and they go and do that thing, and you know, when it doesn't work out, they say, Oh, you know, God's word doesn't work. No, right? You you can't just do that. So, one of the ways in which we want to grow in a relationship with God is not only when we're just wanting answers, but just to know him and know his heart. So we we do that by reading scripture. So one way to know God and to grow in our faith is to read scripture. Second is prayer, which is communicating with God through prayer, and that could be through scripture, and also this idea of silence. I forget who it was that that said that, but prayer is the idea or the practice of attentive silence, right? Prayer is the practice of attentive silence. That I am in sitting, that I'm sitting in silence waiting to hear from God based off what I've been reading in scripture, right? Nothing, everything that you hear through your prayers from God is going to align with scripture, or it should align with scripture. If it's contradictory to scripture, then it's not biblical, or that that's not what God shared with you. Okay, our emotions are very tricky, our own thoughts can consume us. Whatever we think about most is what's going to take over and is going to create its narrative in our minds. So we need to be careful with that. What do we tell ourselves? Right. There's this whole movement of manifesting your future and manifesting these things into your life. So, for people who do that, they're going to use those things that they want and they're going to basically look for a confirmation bias with what in scripture aligns with what I want for my life, right? So the idea is that through scripture, you can allow God to speak to you in prayer, which then you can practice into your community, Christian community, right? Within the church. So that's my personal belief regarding how we can continue to grow in our walk with Christ. And part of this idea is that when you're reading scripture, allowing God to speak to you through prayer as you're sharing your heart as well, and then it moves you into practicing those things in your relationships, you'll start to see how oftentimes we'll fall short. And the idea is that when we have these rupture repairs, is that we're able to express humility and ask for forgiveness and show kindness, right? And show patience to the person that we love and care for. And in doing that, with time, we develop healthy emotional regulation with each other. Right. And that happens again in these romantic relationships. So again, relationships can foster secure attachment and emotional regulation. Uh, secondly, they offer these this ability for us to see ourselves to understand ourselves better, right? It's so interesting to me. So um, some of you guys may watch these shows, right? Married at first sight, or I don't know what other shows. That's the one I've been watching. And it's very interesting because when these people they never met, they see each other, they're either attracted to themselves or not. And then they have to develop this love by communicating about the things that they're wanting in life, things that they value, their experiences, and and trying to see if their personalities match up and all of these different things, right? And throughout the process, they're each saying, Well, this made me feel this way. And the other is, Well, I never thought that I felt this way. And they're both trying to understand each other, sharing how they're feeling. And it's so interesting because you're looking as an outsider and you're saying, Wait, no, he didn't really, he wasn't that reflective, or no, she didn't really say that. You know, I didn't I didn't understand that that way, right? So, what happens that when we're in a relationship, it forces you to accept or see parts of yourself that you don't think you have, but they're there because the other person is seeing that, right? The more engagement and interaction you have with that person, they start to see more and more of who you are in daily life, right? But it's again, it it's it's almost uh funny to me to see how blind we are to our own um weaknesses or to our own shortcomings, right? So relationships offer this ability to mirror how we actually are, because either the person tells us or they pick up on some of our habits, right? These relationships allow for feedback, um, for empathy, and for attunement, right? The ability to tune into how we're feeling about each other, right? Um as you provide these experiences or as you experience this in a relationship, you begin to see that your perception of self starts to become more holistic, right? If before you saw yourself, no matter how self-aware you think you are, there's always going to be parts of you that you don't fully see, right? Which is again part of that iron sharpening iron picture is developed here in in marriage because your your significant other sees other parts of you. And when they bring it up, again, you want kindness, you want gentleness, you want patience. When they bring it up, it's like taking a step back and saying, huh. I don't like to end up seeing that, but I'm gonna take some time to reflect on that and and and really consider this, what you're sharing, right? So as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. That's really the concept here is that your significance. Pick another your spouse, if you know when you get married, is going to point these things out. And if you're engaged or you're dating someone, again, even in those relationships, they'll point some things out that you may not be uh privy to. So that's what they do. Another thing that they do is that they create space for vulnerability, right? In order to heal, we need to have a context where vulnerability can happen, right? And one of the things that can happen in relationships is that we usually test the waters out to see how much the person can understand and accept and learn about you, right? So we usually, when we're sharing something with someone, we start off with something small about our past and if they receive that well. Okay, next time you share a little bit more, and then the next time a little bit more, right? And again, the more you see the person, maybe they feel scared at first of what you shared, or maybe they looked at you with a sense of judgment, like that that creates this barrier, like, oh, I shouldn't have shared that, or should I share that? Again, so that vulnerability exposes parts of you that you may not want someone else to look at because you may be rejected. You may fear that they will leave after you share that deep, dark secret, or you share um a weakness, and maybe they're gonna see you differently after that, whatever the case is. These relationships create space for vulnerability, it requires it, right? And if you're on the other end receiving that from the other person where they're being vulnerable with you, it's very important to tune into that and validate what's happening without judgment, right? I think judgment really is that that piece, again, it brings on shame. So if you portray judgment on what the person is sharing, immediately, people, we have the tendency to close up and not want to share anymore. Right. Um, what happens is that again, if we think about the Garden of Eden, how everything happened, is that once they were exposed, this is they were they were naked and then they went and hid themselves to cover themselves up. And that's kind of what happens. Like you feel once you feel like you've been fully seen and fully known, there's this tendency to, oh, I show too much. I don't want them to see more, right? Again, speaking it from a spiritual perspective, emotional, mental, psychological perspective, as you share more with people, we're always gauging how much can they take? Do they still want to know me more? Should I share more? Right. We're making these constant evaluations as we're getting to know each other. So the idea of how this can bring healing is because, again, it puts you in a place where you have to be vulnerable to be uh fully known, right? That's that's the goal of these relationships is to be known, to be fully known. And if you notice, something that's very important here is that that is also what we want in our relationship with God. Like God fully knows us, right, and has forgiven us and accepts us as his children, right? And there's a whole dynamic within that relationship of repentance and seeking him out and uh continuing to pursue him, right? That's the relationship that we have with God as our father, and he loves us and gives us everything that we need, right? And in a uh marriage relationship or romantic relationship, you're also seeking this other person who has their own faults and failures and trying to see them as God would see them, right? And seeking not just to be vulnerable with them, but also hoping that they're also vulnerable with you, right? So it creates space for vulnerability. Um, another one is that it provides accountability, support, and encouragement. Like who doesn't want that? Right? When you're growing together with someone else, you're able to focus on growth, you develop resilience, there's positive change. And in that process, again, seeing each of you grow together, it's a very special thing. I mean, one of the reasons why I love talking or observing the armed forces, right? Military people is that they go through the fire together. And because they go through that fire together, they see themselves as brothers in battle, right? There was someone who said, um, they say, marry someone that is willing to go to battle with you, that you want next to you in a battle. And I thought that was a really cool illustration because it shows that you're willing to go through whatever it takes in order to achieve the goal that you have for your life and the calling that God has on your life. So as you're doing that, you have accountability for each other, you're checking in on each other. When one of you guys is weak, you're providing support and encouragement. Like you want to keep going forward together. Again, it kind of carries that idea of Galatians 6.2, which talks about carrying each other's burdens, right? So we are carrying each other's burdens, we're sharing the burden together, and that allows us to grow together. So it's very important. Again, these relationships bring out a different part of us. Again, friendships can offer this, mentorships can offer this, relationship with family can offer this. But again, there's something unique and different about this marriage relationship that is highly emphasized in scripture. Again, I want to clarify that if you're single and maybe your calling is not to get married, and I haven't met too many people, but I'm just throwing it out there, if that's your calling, then obviously this is not uh in anything specific to you, right? You follow God's calling for your life. My argument that I'm making here is that when it comes to healing from past hurts, relationships, or even growing as believers, the romantic relationship, dating, engagement, marriage provides a different way to achieve that because it creates more stress or more opportunities for growth in that relationship. Because again, as you're getting to know each other, it's going to bring out different parts of you. And those parts need refinement, and that is a continual process as we move forward towards becoming more like Christ. Last point here one of the reasons why these relationships are so important is because they model forgiveness, grace, and redemption. Those three words are so important, and they're things that I didn't experience until later in life. Like obviously, you know, you ask for forgiveness from your siblings, you get in a fight, you say a name, you call them a name, uh, you don't speak to each other for whatever amount of time, or you're angry at your parents, right? And there's this whole process, and we experience forgiveness, right? We experience grace from some people, right? Um, but as you get older, the the issues often become a lot more complicated where you understand the different dynamics of certain relationships, and forgiveness and grace and redemption just mean a lot more when you receive it as an adult, right? It's it's so powerful, and it heals the parts of us that we feel others are not going to accept, right? And that is what God does for us. Everything that we've ever done, he knows it all. The good, the bad, the ugly, everything, he knows it all. And we still experience forgiveness, we experience his grace, and we experience redemption through his son Jesus. Right. So this heals a lot of the spiritual wounds that we carry, but that can also carry over into those emotional, physical, mental, or psychological wounds that we experience as well. Healing from wounds often means navigating forgiveness, right? In both ways. Both we want to grant forgiveness to others, and we also want to receive forgiveness from others. That is very healing for us as Christians because it is the exact thing that Jesus did for us, right? And the cost was great. The cost was his son's life, Jesus, right? God gave his only begotten son to die for us on the cross to be raised again on the third day, so that we may one day be in eternity with him, right? Forgiveness, grace, father forgive them for they know not what they do, redemption from that, saving us from our sins. Right. Healthy relationships can model sacrificial love, patience, and restoration. And this is all accomplished through grace, through the grace of God, can we do these things? It's not in our own strength that we're able to accomplish this, it's only through his grace. And I have found a lot of healing through different relationships. You know, for those who know me and are part of my life, like you know what I'm referring to. And I I don't share a lot um about my uh personal story here, and maybe I will one day, but a big part of that is because I want to draw the attention to the principle. Because oftentimes what happens is that we'll use other people's experiences and we'll say, oh, because they did this or because it happened here, then it's allowable for myself. At least that's the way that I've I've thought about it. But the principle is what I want to communicate to you guys. And again, maybe one day I'll share part of part of my story. But the standard that we have as believers regarding this forgiveness, grace, and redemption piece is that we are to be kind and compassionate to one another, to forgive one another, to forgive one another, just as in Christ God forgave you. That's in Ephesians 4.32. Right? So romantic relationships provide this opportunity or this picture of each of these points that I just listed, right? And yes, you can experience it in other relationships, but I think the reason why I focus today on the romantic relationship piece is because those we go in with the understanding that we're gonna have to be vulnerable, that we're gonna have to see whether or not the other person's gonna be accepting of us, of our story, of our background, of our history, all of those things. And I don't think we have that same approach with friendships and mentorships and family. Like there's almost this natural acceptance that a friend, you know, if they're a deep, uh personal best friend, like it's highly likely that they're going to accept you, um, even knowing about your past. Family, family is family, right? There's this idea, at least we, you know, there's this idea that family is always going to accept you. I know that's not everyone's story, but there is a strong uh uh evidence or many families where that is the case where they're more accepting when we fail than other people might be. Again, just generalizing here. Um, that's one part. And then with mentorships, you know, mentors come and go. You know, sometimes I have a mentor for this stage of life and I have a different mentor for another stage of life, and so on. But when we talk about marriage, that's a lifelong thing, a lifelong knowing each other, and you're with each other 24-7, and you're seeing each other on your good days, on your bad days. So, what I'm saying is that it provides more opportunity for these areas that we talked about to grow and move you more towards becoming like Christ. So that's my argument today. Don't fall for the lie that you don't need relationships to heal. You do. And in particular, the romantic relationships heal a different part of you. And again, if you have any questions about this, because I know I kind of took a, I don't know if I'd say a controversial take, but a different take on why we do need these types of relationships to grow and to seek them out. Again, even if you're in in pursuing someone, right? Again, that is also teaching you a lot about the desires of your heart, about patience, about grace, about redemption, um, about forgiveness, uh, a lot of things that you're learning through that process. And again, if you have friends and if you have family, again, enjoy those, appreciate those, and you will get glimpses of these, and and some more than others. But again, don't allow for fear to dictate how you're going to approach these different types of relationships. So if you're single and you're searching or you're waiting, whatever the case is, don't give up. God will provide someone. And also don't be afraid to enter into those relationships because of what you are afraid to see or afraid what others may see in you as well. So I hope that this was of an encouragement for you. I hope that you understand now why seeking out these relationships is important, right? In a culture where everyone is scared to be hurt, I want to encourage you to go out there and pursue that type of relationship that God has established from the beginning and see what God teaches you throughout that process. Um, again, if you have questions or comments or want to add to the conversation, feel free to uh send me um an email. You can actually connect uh connect with me through slconnect08 at gmail.com. That's uh where you can email me. Um or you can also send me a message through Instagram at godattachmenthealing. Um so guys, again, this thank you for tuning in. Hopefully this was a blessing for you, and I'll talk to you next time. Take care.